Is it normal that after 5 months it is still effecting me?

Oh okay. I was in a relationship for like 4 months and I fell in love with him. It was pretty intense since we kind of started living with each other. It just happened. There were red flags like when he grabbed me in finger me without my permission. I was fighting him and telling him to stopped. I shutdown after getting out of his arm and he didn't understand why I was upset. I did kick him out of my life but then he came back. He was sorry. ... So we continued with the relationship and he cheated on me, after meeting my family. I tried to make it work and things got worst and worst. He sexually abused me and I tried leaving him so many times but then he will guilt trip me into thinking that I hurt him or say that is all in my head. His cousin kept insisting that we work it out. Things started escalating to pushing and dragging me by legs and taking away my cellphone. The relationship started turning into a father daughter thing. He blamed for his actions. He said because I act so much like a little girl, he treated me like that. What made it hard to leave was that he could be so sweet. . . . I'm over the whole heartbreak. Took me 3 months to get over that and now i'm trying to move on....but I keep having flashback, shutting down, and crying. sometimes I feel detached from my body and sometimes I get suicidal thoughts or have the urge to cut myself. Sometimes my body just ache. I been running a lot to help balance my mood but it doesn't stop it. It has been 5 months since I walked away from him and it is still effecting me. I want it to stop but I cannot control it.